The difference between just traveling through a place and actually living in it has started to really dawn upon me. When I first moved to Chiang Mai, there was an immediate spark and glamour to the experience of living abroad in my new home. I was living the dream and I could hardly believe I was actually in Thailand. I could have thought I had died and gone to heaven. It was a completely new life-- new surroundings, and an all-new world to explore.
Two months in, however, it has started to strike me that I've been falling into the same routines as before, and that life has begun to feel not so different from how it was back in the States.
That is, as filled with wanderlust as I had been when coming back from my 8 week summer trip, and then upon returning to Thailand just a month later, I recently find myself again not so far from being in the 'settled' state of life.
On that note, I should point out how I find that living in the 'settled' state of life is a danger-- in which one runs the risk of becoming permanently settled down with staying in the same place in life and never finding anything more than what they have already known. For some people, this is fine. But for me, I wanted to find something a little different, maybe in search of a certain destiny, or perhaps simply the next level of personal growth.
In traveling, there's a whole sense of adventure, a wonder at going out and taking a risk, and many challenges to overcome. And while there are growing pains and the inevitable discomforts, what you find are new stages and ways of thinking you would never have found before, experiences to be discovered, and new potentials to be reached.
And so coming back to my point, I was finding that even living abroad, in a former third world country, I once again found myself getting so caught up in the day-to-day of things: in my job, in trifle worries, in things that I simply need not worry or think about. And I was forgetting that I am not just living in the same town where I had grown up for the past 20 years, but I am now living in Chiang Mai, Thailand: a place that is a landmark the world over for travelers, a haven for retired business workers, and a must-see on the list of many an adventurer.
There is a completely new world surrounding me anywhere that I can step foot. And all I have to do is step out of my box.
And so, my recent realization has been to simply remember where I am, and don't take for granted all of the opportunity for exploration and adventure that there is around me.
In one sense, I don't place too much guilt upon myself, as one of my primary goals was to find new friends in my new home first. But making friends, I suppose, is a process that can take quite a long time, and one that requires a lot of patience. Also, I am currently caught in the pickle of neither finding much common ground with the other 'farang' (foreigners) here, nor being able to meld in all that well with the Thais-- who I do find more common ground with, but perhaps because of language barrrier, cultural barrier, or some other reason, am not yet able to bridge the gap with.
In the meantime, I may as well not get caught up in the little things, and simply remember to enjoy myself a little better. To remember that my just being here in Thailand--and, on top of that, teaching at a highly respected university, is an opportunity of a lifetime-- one that many Americans may dream about, but few ever step out and pursue.
Yes, I am here to work, and work is certainly a significant part of my life and the time that I spend here.
But it is not everything.
And so, perhaps from this point I should remember that while I'm a teacher and that I do have a fair amount of routine-- that my life here in Thailand is still an adventure-- a dream come true, in a sense, and that I should be enjoying that adventure and living that dream a little bit better than the day before!
